Many Loves: Polyamory

This reading is for folks who are seeking non-judgmental guidance about an open, non-monogamous, or polyamorous relationship. Are you having troubles in your polyamorous relationship? Do you have a partner who is pressuring you to open up your relationship but you don’t know if you should? Are you curious about polyamory but don’t know if it’s right for you? Do you want to know how to take your polyamorous relationship to the next level of intimacy and trust?

This reading gets past the myths and judgments and will help you understand your feelings and goals regarding your relationship(s.) It is a reading that focuses on you only, not your partner(s) or their partners. (Let me know if you and your partner(s) would like a reading together.) This reading will not judge or pathologize you for being polyamorous, nor will it judge or pathologize you for choosing be monogamous or single. This reading sees all relationships as a means of growth and personal transformation—no matter the outcome.

Let me pull some cards for you that will give you clarity and guidance around your question.

I practice polyamory and have kept my relationships alive and thriving in the face of small challenges and large, near-relationship-ending crises. I’ve been in polyamorous relationships that didn’t work and I’ve also been in ones that are healthy and loving, both short-term and long-term. I want to help you get clear on the best ways for YOU to practice (or not practice) polyamory, so that you can grow within your relationships.

Note: not all issues and questions in polyamorous relationships have to do with the polyamorous aspect of it. Polyamorous relationships have plain ol’ relationship issues just like monogamous ones. I encourage you to ask whatever question you have, whether or not it directly relates to polyamory. I will provide you guidance without assuming that polyamory is a “problem” in the relationship.

The Great Turning: Climate Change

For those of us alive on Earth right now, climate change is the most inescapable reality of our time. It is inconceivable in its scope, terrifying in its implications. While there are many people still in denial about the existence of climate change or its causes, many are carrying constant dread with them. How do we respond?

A tarot reading about climate change isn’t going to make climate change go away. It’s not going to change or sugar coat the realities facing us. It’s not going to give you false hope. But this reading will help you respond to climate change in a meaningful way from a place of spiritual depth.

I truly understood the reality of climate change for the first time in January of 2016. I had intellectually understood it for a long time, but the facts and statistics did not make their way into my heart, which was closed off and defended against the grief and terror they promised. Then one evening I was at a talk by a climate scientist and the words he said were finally able to enter into my heart: “Even if we stop all carbon emissions tomorrow, the oceans will continue to warm for the next thousand years.” I had been presented with catastrophic projections and statistics like this one before, but this one entered me fully.

Since then, I have been coming to understand that we are here to hospice the Earth, to remember our connection to and deep love for her, to uplift each other and the Indigenous peoples who have always acted as her guardians. I have also realized that one of my purposes on this Earth at this time is to help people cope emotionally and psychologically with climate change–cope in a way that doesn’t create false hope, but gives people strength to take action out of love in the face of despair.

Perhaps you have severe anxiety. Perhaps you are numbed and paralyzed. Perhaps you are engaging in frantic activism that never seems to make a difference. Perhaps you are filled with rage at political leaders who are choosing this moment to make things worse. Perhaps you are in a deep well of grief. Whatever is going on for you, let’s meet it where it is.

Hope means more than, “It will turn out alright.” We can have hope even in the midst of despair. This is not an oxymoron. If we lean into our despair and connect with the love and gratitude behind it, we can create our own hope and take action

This reading is informed by the work of Joanna Macy and the many teachers of the Work That Reconnects, as well as my experience leading ecological Buddhist services and retreats. “The Great Turning” is a term that I have borrowed from her work, which she has in turn borrowed from the work of others. It refers, not to climate change itself, but to the great shift in human action and consciousness underway in response to climate change, nuclear dangers, social oppression, and other problems created by human beings. During 2019, I will be completing a Work That Reconnects facilitator training, after which I may offer Work That Reconnects mentorship with tarot and other spiritual practices.

Awaking: Honoring & Enjoying Your Sexuality

I realized that it would be good to list it separately from relationship readings (sex happens in relationship to ourselves, too, you know.)
This reading is for people who are feeling stuck sexually and how to feel more comfortable knowing and asking for what they want. It’s for folks who are queer, poly, kinky, or none of the above! This reading accepts all kinds of sexualities, including asexuality.

New Paths: Changes in career, purpose, and direction

In the middle of my graduate school program, I went into a depression that lasted for about a year and a half. Living through it was hell, but I came out on the other side realizing that I had been killing myself because I was doing what I thought should make me happy rather than what actually made me happy.
And yet, this depression was a gift to me. After having gone through it, for better and for worse, I’ve become almost unable to do anything that (1) isn’t in line with my values, (2) doesn’t mean anything to me, (3) degrades me, and (4) isn’t worth my time. Four years after having made that decision, I have a job that is meaningful to me, where I laugh every day and love the people I work with. It may not be as prestigious or lucrative as the academic path, but I know that because I’m tuned in to my internal compass, I have built and continue to build a good life for myself. (Acknowledging, of course, the role that my unearned privilege has played as well.)
This reading is designed for folks who feel uncertain about life choices ahead of them. I don’t tell you which choice to make. Rather, I help you find your inner compass so you can keep making choices that reflect your interests and values.

Beginning Again: Tarot for cultivating regular spiritual and creative practice

Are we cultivating a spiritual HABIT or a spiritual PRACTICE?

A lot of people talk about regular spiritual practice in terms of habits–getting in the habit of meditation for 5 minutes every day, or pulling a tarot card every morning, for example. And if, as every popular book and website tells us, we can form habits in an easy 21 days, why is it so hard to commit to a regular spiritual practice?
My approach to maintaining regular spiritual practice has changed a lot over the 6 years I have been a meditator. I’ve stopped shaming and judging myself so much for dropping the ball on my practice because I now understand that my practice is always there–I just need to tune in. I also realized that one of the reasons for my frustrating “failures” as a meditator was my rigid definition of success and my expectation that meditating every day is something that should come easily. Furthermore, I have realized that I spent years wasting time trying to start a meditation habit instead of a meditation practice. Habit = auto-pilot. Meditation = the opposite of auto-pilot. No wonder I was experiencing so much resistance!
This reading is for folks who are seeking a way out of the cycle of failure in sticking to a spiritual practice, whether it be meditation, tarot, ritual, prayer, or anything else. No matter how many times you fall off the wagon, you can always begin again. This reading is designed to help you identify blocks and bring some clarity to your beliefs about what regular spiritual practice should be.

Intimate Grace: Tarot for Self-compassion

What is self-compassion? The understanding that you are a suffering being who deserves care, kindness, and comfort.
Simple, right? And yet so many of us don’t believe that we deserve these things. When we have setbacks or struggles, we double down, beating ourselves up for making mistakes and not being flawless. We might even beat ourselves up for not having self-compassion!
There’s a whole lot of talk about self-love and self-care out there, but when you are in the grip of self-hatred, making the leap to self-love can seem impossible. When I was in the midst of my depression and dealing with self-hatred, I had no idea that I needed to cultivate self-love, nor any sense of how I could do it. The real turning point for me came when I realized that the root cause of my depression was lack of self-compassion. If you are struggling with self-hatred and finding it difficult to cultivate self-love, self-compassion might be a better place to start.

This reading is a snapshot of where you are right now on your journey with self-compassion. We will take a look at how you relate to yourself, how you treat yourself emotionally and psychologically, and how you can find a way toward treating your struggles with patience and care.

The Sheltered Garden: Tarot for creating, holding, and responding to boundaries

A boundary is any time we make a choice about which actions and energies we invite into our lives, from the small to the great. Setting a boundary could be a simple as asking someone to take a step back if they’re too close, or as complex as asking a partner to stop expecting unending emotional labor.

We can set boundaries around our time or energy so that we can best show up for ourselves and others. We can also set boundaries by asking people what we WANT them to do instead of what we don’t want them to do. We all have different boundaries for different reasons, but it takes a lot of courage and wisdom to understand where we set a boundary, to stick to it when it is pushed or challenged, or to re-negotiate it when it is no longer useful.